Writing 101 – June 2014 Challenge – Fear

In this blog assignment, we are tasked with writing about one of our personal fears, worries, or anxieties.

An interesting assignment indeed. Not something I often write about on a public blog, but I will take a crack at this, it is one of our assignments after all for this month’s challenge!  Also, it is important to acknowledge that we all have fears and worries, and sometimes the best way to address them is to acknowledge they exist and face them, head on.

Anyhow, the fear or worry I want to speak about here is sort of an extension to the post I wrote yesterday.  Carrying on from some of the themes I wrote about, I do have an innate fear that I am going to look back on my life later on, when I’m older, and think, wow I wasted time.  I am a big believer in getting things done, and making a difference.  I enjoy volunteering, giving back to the community, and a wide range of hobbies and friends/family.

However, I spend a large amount of time 40-45 hours per week these days on my “day job.”  And on the bright side, it is a great job, one I do enjoy (most days), where I enjoy the co-workers at my place of work, I have great opportunities for development and career advancement, and I am fortunate to have job security, pension, and am compensated fairly.

But all that being said, I still have a fear I am going to look back on my life, and think, wow did I waste time in that position / career field / profession / organization.  What were you thinking?  You weren’t truly happy!  And you didn’t make a true difference for the local or global world!

Like I said in my post yesterday, I know what true workplace happiness is.  I worked at the Winnipeg Zoo for 7 years and had a blast.  I know that in my current position, I am not as happy as I was there.  I am now in a more administrative / managerial position where I am in an office most of the day, in meetings, directing professional-level staff who are also in an office setting.  Although there are many good things about my job, as I listed above, there are also major detractions.  I do feel the weight of being “cooped up” in a large organization, and in an office environment.

I fear I sound like a whining person as well, bemoaning the fact I may not feel I am making a true difference and enjoying myself fully at work.  After all, I should be happy I have a job, many people are not so lucky!

But at the same time, I know it is important to be happy at work.  You spend 1/3 of your waking hours at work, and that’s assuming you work no overtime!  So work is important, and enjoying work is also important to your overall health.  I want to use my skills to better people around me, and I also want to be at a place where there is lots of action, excitement, fun, and where I am truly fulfilled in multiple respects.

Whether this will happen in my current situation, I am not sure yet.  But I guess my fear is I won’t have the courage to make changes if necessary, and I will end up being much older, and then look back and regret not taking risks or making changes in the area of my work.

I guess the challenge to me is to keep this in mind, think on it hard, and be prepared to make changes while I am young, mobile, and when right options present themselves, if this feeling is present.  I definitely need to puzzle this through.  I just don’t want to spend the next few decades puzzling through, and then realize it’s too late!

I have personal fears in addition to this more professional-based fear, but this is definitely one that’s been on my radar for awhile, and it felt good to right some thoughts down on it. 🙂

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